PAIN Behind my SMILE | Van Life is not a Dream
今天有预订，好吧，谢谢你，亲爱的，祝你有美好的一天，再见享受，谢谢 [音乐]你保留， 所以这些是观点，让我们解压 所有打电话给你的东西，如果我在这，我想要这个，我没有 什么可失去的，来抓住我，如果可以的话，抓住我，我准备好了 让我们 舒服点，我喜欢这些乐趣的其中一件事是，我可以打开这块画布 ，我现在在海景中有这么多的气流，看看 我在这里能有多少微风，伙计们，我有我的双臂完全张开，你知道我还有空间， 我可以跳进我的货车，我以前从来没有这样做过，所以我对 那些家伙感到非常兴奋，这是威斯特伐利亚的一个非常好的功能，就像我说的 40几岁了 ，他们知道如何建造货车，在这里放一张地毯，再放一张地毯，所以当我进出时， 我把我的新地毯弄得一团糟，好吧，我要把所有的[音乐] 椅子 都扫掉 当我们有这把小椅子的时候就好多了 我有一个 B 我开始了 我正式 露营 我太饿了 我真的需要吃一些食物 我正在做一点 沙拉 我有一些种子 这是一份羽衣甘蓝鸡肉沙拉我 放了一些南瓜子，也放了一些葵花 子，我喜欢蓝纹奶酪，我不知道 有些人不喜欢蓝纹奶酪，味道有点难闻，但我喜欢 它，因为它实际上很热就像夏天一样 我要把头发盘起来 我被 你的微笑所诱惑 我被你的微笑所 诱惑 我被你的微笑所诱惑 我被诱惑了有一段时间我 确信我将是那个改变你的人 你将是我的 你将是我的 我你 真的可以从这里看到冲浪者，我的位置就像一个冲浪休息点，我只是 没有带冲浪板或任何东西，因为我没有了，所以如果你想捐赠一块 长板，请在评论中留下它，我会选择我想要一块像 9 英尺 8 英尺这样的长板， 可能是 8 英尺，如果你有一块像 8 英尺左右的长板，并且你想在 圣地亚哥地区把它捐赠给我，请在下面的评论中留下它，我去拿它因为我不再 有冲浪板了，伙计们，我曾经有一个短板，但我把它送给了一个朋友，因为 我不喜欢短板，我喜欢长板，我喜欢走路，今天的视频是 由 kbo 电动自行车赞助的，这是kbo K2 型号，就在这里充电，我很喜欢 这种粉色的家伙，他们的网站上有更多颜色，我几乎要买蓝色了， 他们还有绿色、白色、黑色，这是一个非常小的包，它是也可折叠，因此非常适合 货车生活，您可以将其放入任何行李箱中，因此非常易于运输，因此 这款电动自行车的便携性非常好，它有五种不同的速度，我真的认为 它超级快，所以我只是去以第一速度，因为我不喜欢开得太快，但 如果您喜欢开快，这绝对是您的自行车，如果您从未拥有过电动自行车，这可能是 一个非常好的选择，我有一个特殊的链接，我要离开这里，这是一辆相当 实惠的电动自行车，所以一定要检查一下，就像我说的那样，有很多不同的颜色， 在评论中告诉我哪一个是你最喜欢的，它实际上非常轻，作为一辆电动 自行车，就像你可以看到的那样，我可以很容易地移动它，这是一个优点，因为你不想 拥有一辆非常重的自行车，这里有一个折叠自行车的系统，它基本上可以像 这样翻转，超级容易，你可以把它放在汽车后备箱里在你的货车里，你床下的储物柜下面， 一定要检查下面的链接，伙计们，因为我认为这是一辆非常棒的 自行车，而且我很高兴我有自己的自行车，这是美好的一天，伙计，我实际上要去参加 骑自行车，我将带你参观露营地，因为它有很多便利设施，而且很漂亮 很大，所以我可以去兜风，在这个令人惊叹的夏日享受一些乐趣，看起来是的，我 想带你四处看看，因为这个地方超级大，有一些海滩通道，有 淋浴 ，第一次视频博客和骑自行车，所以我希望我不会从自行车上摔下来，但我要向 你们展示的第一件事是浴室和淋浴，它们离我的露营地真的很近， 所以这太棒了，因为我可以很快去小便，是的，看看这些是他们用 硬币工作的淋浴所以是的，这就是现在的淋浴，没什么奇特的，它可以用一些代币工作，我可能稍后会洗澡 ，就在这里，我们外面有一个小水槽，我实际上 今天早上在这里 洗了一些盘子 ， 看看这里有多少花，伙计们，一年中的这个时候 是最好的，因为快到春天了，天气很好，周围没有那么多 游客，所以你可以欣赏加州和所有盛开的美丽花朵我 带你看看剩下的地方，因为这里有很多地方，所以你可以进入海滩， 我现在就向你展示，它非常漂亮，而且还有一个淋浴间，还有一个室外淋浴间，它是免费的， 你没有要付钱所以是的，这里是海滩通道之一，有一些楼梯 ，非常漂亮，实际上是一个表面点，现在那边有一些表面， 没有太多海浪，所以我们有一个室外淋浴，它是免费的，然后就是 浴室，那些是淋浴，我向你展示我的自行车，看看那个可爱的小鸟，它是 红色的哦，太 漂亮了，我不知道你是否知道，但这个区域不稳定，所以你必须小心 每年悬崖 周围都会下 大雨，我们的剪辑会倒塌，所以 有时你必须小心这里，所以只要留意剪辑，你知道我在说什么，但认真看看 我的自行车[音乐]看起来有多可爱，好吧我我想现在我要向你展示垃圾倾倒 站在哪里，水填充处是一个小倾倒区，所以我现在要向你展示我们已经 接近垃圾倾倒站了，有一辆自行车真是太好了后面有一些浴室吗？更多的 露营地 更多的露营地 我不想死 这是一项非常高风险的活动 你知道 插上 自行车之类的东西 哦，这里是垃圾站 我们要去抓 人现在住，加满他们的水箱，所以那是倾倒站区域你好 早上好下午好很高兴你知道骑自行车而不是滑板 一直你知道我在说什么这里是最好的汽车露营地的人看看 这个虫子，伙计，它是 70 年代的原创，看看这个华丽的汽车家伙，哦，我的天哪，我喜欢它 蓝色，但不，但没有人知道海王星，所以每个人都保持是的，来自俱乐部的家伙 ，来自俱乐部的家伙好吧好吧，何塞绝对是 露营地里最可爱的车，我们刚刚成为朋友，好家伙，让我们继续向您展示露营 地吧，所以在这里，我们有一些海滩通道，我们 一会儿就要去，有很多露营地，例如你可以看到这里 有另一个浴室，这里我们有另一个海滩， 很好，我需要一个小剧院部分，这是关于 美国的 节目， 我只是想让你知道看日落，说一些好话， 但有时我看看日落，我想知道为什么菲利普决定 自杀，不再看另一个日落 ，即使我在美丽的地方，一切似乎都很好， 一切都应该很好，但人们真的很难快乐。可以停止思考为什么他不想再有一个 日落，这真的很难接受，我只想再次在视频博客上分享它，因为 很多人认为我做得很好，但我做得不好，我的日子是总是起起落落， 伙计们，这真的很难，你知道，当我有一群观众一直 在看着我，总是看着我，想着哦，看她在微笑，哦，她做得 很好，我什至做得不好，这真的很难当你认为我做得很好也许有时我做得很好 但有时我不会，因为当你知道世界上你最爱的人 自杀时，你会在你的内心深处与最 完美的日落进行一生的斗争，这是当你认为关于他们最多的事，你不断问自己为什么 他们这样做，为什么他们不想再看到另一个日落了，我 每天晚上都哭着入睡，如果不是因为我想念我的那是因为我想念菲利普，这是因为 我不明白发生了什么，我只是想让你们知道，因为在 我的微笑背后有很多痛苦，不，我不好，因为你们看到我在微笑，我真的很 努力地继续前进我只是想分享它，因为很多人在看到 某人微笑时感到困惑，他们认为自己很快乐，但这不是生活的方式，你们需要现实检查 ，今天我有责任告诉你们，因为你们看到某人在 YouTube 上微笑观看 10 分钟的视频并不意味着他们的生活已经解决了，他们没有任何问题， 他们的经济状况良好，他们的心理健康状况良好，我只是想 提高人们的认识，因为我只是经历了很多，我仍在经历它，我可能会 在未来很多年里经历它，我只是想对你们说实话， 你们所关注的人中 80% 都有房子，而我没有我有一套房子，我全职住在这辆车里，而且 我在路上住了整整 10 年，所以我不像你在 网上看到的普通货车，我实际上是一个真正的人，实际上全职住在货车里，我只是我想让 人们意识到，你在 10 分钟的视频中看到我微笑，并不意味着我很快乐 ，我的生活很美好，因为我的前夫不到六个月前就自杀了，我的父亲 去世还不到一年半年前，我独自一人，我是一名移民，我一无所知， 所以我只是想让你们意识到这一点，因为我正在挣扎，即使 你们看到我在微笑背后微笑，这已经很多了痛苦，我会不惜一切代价来 克服这一切，但我就是不明白为什么他不再看另一部《日落》，为什么他离开了我，为什么有 这么多的事情，我现在只能看所有的冲浪者，并思考为什么他不是[音乐]那里 [音乐][笑声] [音乐]给那个合适的孩子，我和他都有历史，我们注定是这样还是这一切都是生命R字里行间 ，这就是它，它应该如何被知道你知道我想要它，但我能感觉到 你的氛围，你一直在推动我，我的牺牲，但你想要它时，你想要 它，只有当它适合你时，我只是有这种感觉，我在这样的一天我只是 有这种感觉你要带走并离开我只是有这种感觉你没有说出你的意思 我只是说出这种感觉但我无法抗拒这种感觉我无法抗拒这种感觉 香蕉一些晚餐和电影晚上猜这部电影我非常喜欢这部电影， 这里有一个屏幕，然后我把这里的投影仪连接到我的电脑上，因为这部电影我只 在电脑上有它，因为他们在亚马逊或类似的地方没有它电影人我 喜欢这部电影，如果我能让你认识一个我爱的人在这里 和我一起看电影那就太好了，但我不喜欢，所以我们正在充分利用它上帝抱歉我的请求让我们买一些 蔬菜让我告诉你 ，博博嘿，我很抱歉，我很抱歉， 穿上这些，不要在我面前哭泣， 他们不会让你那样打架，这很令人沮丧，我的名字是克里夫，我是瑞克道尔顿特技 双重 结局最好的电影[音乐] 永远早上好伙计们不幸的是我必须换露营地因为现在是 春假，非常繁忙所以我只能在这个地方住一晚 然后现在我要改变露营地我要去另一个地方，它不会 那么好，但它仍然很好，它仍然很好，只是不会 每次我放下画布时都是这样的视图，我必须确保布料没有被剪裁 在[音乐]这里，我是弗雷德，他要骑着自行车一路到达我的住处，然后步行到这里，搬家。 我 刚买了一些木柴，我要把它带回露营地，祝 我好运，我希望如此我会留在这里，我想不会有什么问题，希望我，路伙计们， 出于显而易见的原因，我不会在骑自行车时拍视频博客，所以希望我，路，那 东西不会从自行车上掉下来，成功了露营地和柴火 也做到了，我要生火了 ，睁开你的眼睛，因为总有一天 他们会来听[音乐]，好吧，我只是用我的小刀做一堆纸板馅饼我 要把它们放在那里，所以每当我想生火时，希望能顺利启动， 我要 生火，希望火会熄灭，我这里有一些食物，一块牛排，然后是 一些香肠一些辣椒，一些孩子在玩耍，我想在日落时回到那个年龄，我 实际上有一些朋友过来，他们会在深夜八点左右过来， 所以我开始生火，然后他们可能会来用我的投影仪在外面看电影 ，我有一个朋友有一辆短跑货车，他可能会把它停在这里， 因为这里有更多的空间可以容纳更多的汽车，如果你也不想篝火，请在下面评论我喜欢 篝火我希望我每天晚上都能做这些，看看这东西多可爱，该死的，我爱我的[音乐] 小r这个小镇[音乐]走出去，继续跑，直到太阳下山更好， 一整天，直到你可以’被发现用完了必须逃跑继续跑直到太阳下山 你可以魔鬼但你不会去找我没关系他无论如何都责怪我 他认为我在撒谎是我的天哪钱，请帮助 我 早上好 视频博客，我要清理一下，所以我和我的朋友 昨晚玩得很开心，我们看了几部电影，是的，这很漂亮[音乐] 太棒了 ，我想我要去为了让车里的声音永远留在车里，所以昨天我们花了一些美好 的时间看电影，我的朋友还在这里，我们必须在中午 12 点左右离开露营地， 所以我可能会骑着 自行车 去附近吃点早餐 然后回来清理露营地，然后可能就出去了， 昨晚真是一段美好的时光，我真的很喜欢和我的朋友们一起度过时光，我爱 他，伙计们，是时候清理了，因为要 下雨了，我们必须得到也离开这里所以让我们 关闭塞拉斯 早上好睡着的美女 好吧我给我和我的朋友们买了一些甜甜圈我已经吃了一个但我 不应该吃糖但是我做了这个我要尝试这个这个这个是 肉桂旧时尚对不起视频博客我正在吃糖我正在吃糖和一杯咖啡加 [音乐] 牛奶M太好了 [音乐]好吃是的现在天气很糟糕我会讨厌 如果我必须付费和天气就像今天这一切很糟糕，某个 地方有甜甜圈，是的，我的朋友要起飞，我也即将起飞 [音乐] 太开始下雨了，是的，我们要起飞，我要离开这里，伙计们，这是一个 很长的 Vlog，我希望你喜欢在街上看到你，宝贝， 你一直在做的事情，但这是一件事，我知道上帝总是让我度过难关，上帝总是让我度过难关 ，如果他让我度过难关，他也可以让你度过难关，那就是[音乐] l
I’m SAD & Nothing makes me Happy, Not Even Beach Camping in my Van…
Life is not as good as it might seems… I am going through a lot and not even the best campsite on the beach makes me happy anymore. I am grateful for all the things that I can experience like riding my new @kbobikes , all the beautiful flowers and birds, spending time with friends by the campfire, watching movies outside with my projector but I am always missing something important. I don’t really know how long I will feel like this but the truth is that behind my smile there is a lot of pain…
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41 Comments
Life is not what you think, just because you see someone smiling doesn't mean that they are happy and doing okay. After getting back online, I am struggling because people seem to assume that I am doing great just because they watched a 10 minute video of me smiling for some seconds. People be thinking that after losing the two most important men of my life and having my life completely destroyed I just have the capacity of being a super human, entertaining you for free every week. Some people is assuming that I should travel, and keep being my old self before all the misfortune events happened to me, but how are you guys even expecting such thing from me if you truly followed my story? The internet is not real life and I needed to bring a reality check here on YouTube. It's great to live in a van sometimes, it's great to be an immigrant sometimes, it's great to be alone sometimes, it's great to post videos on YouTube but the truth guys is that at the same time things are also awful and painful. Be patience and kind with people on the internet, truly listen to them and stop pushing boundaries. Remember that these are free videos for you to get entertained and a way to connect with others, youtubers are real people just like you, and it's time that someone spoke about this… I couldn't keep this inside of me for any longer. I share more details about everything that's happening and happened in my life on my Patreon https://www.patreon.com/LidiaRico I shared past events that for a lot of people that followed this channel since the beginning are shocking to hear and I want to keep them private, so if you subscribe to my Patreon please respect the privacy of that platform and be kind. Thanks for being here reading this ❤🙏
Es la primera vez que veo a alguien manifestando sus sentimientos de forma real. Por eso te voy a seguir. Porque estoy harto de personas que se dicen "influencers" y que parece ser lo único que les importa es parecer politicamente correctos y felices. La vida no es así, hay momentos felices y momentos MUY TRISTES. Hay de todo. QUIERO SEGUIR A PERSONAS HUMANAS…
you are sweet and adorable, I am sure that after you have healed enough you will find what you are looking for
Lidia I Think your great I'm very sorry that you lost the love of your life But Just remember to show the world what he showed you and in the end he lives on through you and the love you shared of the open road I hope and pray for you to gain strength and know taht we are all here for you No matter what
Dont worry. Be strong.
Best days Will arrive for you.
Be confident.
🙏🏽🌞💪🏾💙 stay strong I totally understand
Suicide is a pretty horrible thing to deal with, especially when it was someone who you Loved so deeply.
There are No answers to the question of Why ? Even the person who committed suicide wouldn’t be able to answer that question or understand why they were even contemplating suicide !.
Unfortunately,it’s always the ones who are left behind that have to suffer the consequences and the questions.
Years ago my best friend committed suicide,she was not Happy with her life but I seriously thought she was turning a corner and finally decided she wanted to live rather than die….. I was so wrong !.
She didn’t leave a letter or give anyone a clue of what was happening,we all thought she was feeling mentally stable, she was taking her medication and seeing a counsellor… everyone was shocked !.
The questions I asked myself were endless,was it my fault for not noticing,was it because of something I did or didn’t do ? I wanted just to be friends but she wanted more than that,the thing was I was scared that if we had a relationship it would ruin the friendship,we were super close,sleeping together but nothing happening,just cuddling.
She had some pretty bad relationships with Men but I was always there by her side, I knew that the men weren’t good for her but she didn’t want to listen,so all I could do was be there with her when things went wrong….she had abusive relationships and physically abusive and mentally abusive partners.
The thing was that she eventually became more knowledgeable about Bad Guys and wanted a good relationship.
She wanted that relationship with me but I turned her down because I had only just gotten over a long time relationship myself,my Ex broke up with me because she didn’t want to settle down with me.
I did Love my Friend but not in the way she wanted,it wasn’t until after she passed away and after a few Months later that I thought Maybe we could have been good together in something more than Friends ?.
Nowadays I wish I had said Yes when she mentioned it,I’m a single father these days who craves physical contact and just a relationship.
You wonder what if ?.
I’m so Sorry for your Loss of your Husband.
I wish there were Magic Words I could say to help you heal with your Grief but there are no words.
They say that Time is a healer and yeah it does get better but it doesn’t ever leave you completely.
There are going to be good days and bad days,eventually the pain does ease but it is always there in the background Hun ❤❤
“Sickness and healing are in every heart; death and deliverance in every hand.” – something said by a Mormon science fiction author, of all things.
me encanta tu furgoneta
Sending hugs, que pases miles de atardeceres preciosos mas, un abrazo! cuidate mucho!
Cara Lidia, ho iniziato qualche giorno fa per caso, a vedere i tuoi video e non mi sono più fermata. Sai perché? Perché trasmetti la vita alle persone, trasmetti la gioia, nonostante questo periodo molto doloroso. Non so perché, ma va bene così. Ti auguro che tutto passi presto. Ti abbraccio forte. Linda
You got to have some hurt in your heart for someone or you don’t love. You don’t love, you’re not alive. – Eagle
You are so cute sweetheart ❤❤❤❤💋💋💋💋🌹🌹🌹🌹
You're so beautiful inside and out. You have a glow about you. A radiance only you can share. Please be ok, you deserve it. I'm sure you journal alot. I'm full time van life too that alone can seem lonely but I know I'm never alone I am my greatest friend if you need someone to talk to please feel free to reach out. You're in my thoughts and prayers, you're awesome!!!;💕🙏🏾 sending lots of love and light and peace to you
I'm so sorry I lost my husband and it has been so hard my heart is brokrn. I to smile but inside there is nothing but pain!!! I don't I will ever have a true smile .🙏🙏🙏
God bless you lidia!!!
Je suis triste de savoir que tu l'es ! Fuir n'est pas la bonne solution. Tu as un rôle dans ce monde ,ne l'oublie pas !une fois que tu l'auras trouvé, tout sera plus simple et je te remercie pour le soutien et les bons moments partagés que tu nous apportes "gratuitement" mille mercis petite princesse 🙏♥️
There is somthing very sad.
You are in California and I'm in Sweden. 😢
Hello Lidia, the truth is that you are very right in everything you say, many of us come together to see the ideal life that you lead as a way to escape from ours, you don't stop to think about the back room of your life. I am very sorry for your losses, it is hard, you have every right to feel all this but do not blame yourself, you are brave and very valuable. Solitude and silence (at least that's how I experienced it) generates that state of mind where you begin to consider different things, it is important that you understand that it no longer makes sense, what happened has already happened and there is no other possibility but to continue. living, learn to control your emotions and live one day at a time doing something that makes you happy, these are moments that will add up until that sadness is displaced. I encourage you to read a book that can help you understand, Many Lives, Many Masters by Brian L. Weis. If you don't have it, I'll give it to you. A big hug and keep smiling that even despite your pain your mind believes your smile.
unless there are signs of not wanting to be here anymore such as a note or signs we never know what the true cause was possible od or taking ones own life. talk to right people who have been through it and can put a pespective on it to enhance recovery.
I've had people in my life commit suicide and I often think of them too. It's something we can never understand.
Guau! Se sabe que una persona es realmente especial cuando está sufriendo en su interior pero aun así es capaz de proyectar su buena energia
fuck this all shit on the world
New here- who’s Phillip?
I can’t wait until I save enough money to get my van 😊😊
I enjoy your channel all your adventures. I’m sorry what you’re going through. I understand I’m a solo traveler also but I’m traveling in a big fifth wheel with Rosie, the Bengal cat and Maggie the cattle dog. I lost my mom about a year ago. It’s very tough try to stay positive moving forward, wishing you the best, my dear sending you positive energy
Would you be willing to share what campground that is looks like San Diego somewhere I’m a California boy so I’ve surf the whole coast
❤ I wish I had a pretty girlfriend like you!!❤❤
I was in a relationship for 10 years off and on again. That' was almost five years ago. I don't want to date anyone anymore. Just work out eat good smoke alot of kush.
Bless….😍 please don’t think you are alone with the pain behind the smile thing, it would be a very lucky person to get through life with only smiles…! You do have youth and health so don’t forget to keep enjoying life and showing off that beautiful heart lifting smile 😊 love the camper… x
Is there Van-life in Spain? THAT would be amazing. United States is getting too expensive even for van life. Oh well, cheers 🙂
I never met a person that wasn't broken to some degree. Its very normal
I'm working online, your video is in the background, I'm listening to a beautiful Spanish accent. Suddenly, cry.. I rewind and find out what you've been through… OmG I admire your courage.
The message is really needed for many people. Thank you to open up and share your pain. Namaste 🙏🏻
🥹🙏🏻❤️
I know to much about pain behind the smiles. I lost my mom and step dad a little over a year ago and my marriage sucks. But you seem like a beautiful person inside and out. Just want to hug you and tell you it's ok not to be ok
I understand completely. My fiance passed away 7 years ago from a stroke in the prime of her life. It has ruined my life! Changed everything, and has left me all alone in this world that keeps spinning round. My heart goes out to you, may you find peace!
If you covered yourself just a little more men could concentrate on what your saying and maybe your channel will grow faster. I was trying to hear you but just couldn't. Not to be mean good luck. You remind me of a woman out of the Bible. Thank you.
Clothes.
Wow, and the sun set is beautiful; may stop and think, him and your dad could be in the sunset watching over you and wants you to feel better !! Yes it's hard, but keep going and praying 🙏🏾 every day gets bettet; you have to trust that !! Your outside spirit shows that good, so I know the inside is the same 🤲🏾💪🏾💗